The War on Christmas

Sunday, December twenty-fifth, two thousand and five.

The day that should be the happiest day of the year for all Americans, a celebration of life, holyness, and huge sales at Toys 'R Us, is becoming Americas darkest hour.

Spreading like a virulent disease through the minds of honest, God loving Americans is and idea of Secular Holidays, destroying the spirit of the holiday, sorry, Christmas season.

Now as Christmas faces annihilation at the hands of mindless left-wing zealots, only one man can save the legacy of our one and only true God:

Coming soon to a cinema near you!

Meet Adam Dachshund (fictional character)

Adam Dachshund lived golf. Sand traps and water hazards haunted his dreams. His spiritual life was so singularly devoted to this game that he played every day rain or shine and was subsequently struck by a lightning bolt. The morning after, he woke up and experienced an epiphany. On that fateful morn Adam Dachshund became enlightened in the ways of golf, he achieved golf nirvana. No longer would he confuse a five iron with a seven iron, no longer would he fall victim to those malevolent sand traps, and no longer would he need to drive a golf cart in a civilized fashion. If any opponent should beat him by even one par, he wouldn’t hesitate to crash his cart into theirs. If he had to drive from Washington DC to Arlington Virginia, he wouldn’t hesitate to drive his golf cart. If he needed to use the horse bucket, he wouldn’t hesitate to use his golf cart to find a decent one. Adam Dachshund was a free man now, free from the confines of modern golf. From now on he would careen at high speeds around the course in clown pants wielding something other than regulation standard.

I am working on a comedic story and I am espcially proud of this paragraph.

Taiwanese Stereotypes of Americans

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my new classmates here in Taiwan, and they wanted to know all about me.
"Where in America are you from?" one of them asked me in Chinese.
"Missouri," I replied, and when they glanced at eachother I told them it was in the middle of the US.
"Oh yeah! Alot of people ride Harleys!"
That's number one.
"What do you like to do for fun, listen to rap? Skateboard?"
Numbers two and three.
And finally they asked me why I am taking French instead of Spanish, and before I could respond another student cut in and said:
"He problably already speaks Spanish."


Winter in Taiwan

Well the chill is finally upon us and snow is in the air. Not really. Its never going to snow here, except for possibly in the mountains.
I just started this blog, and I will devote it to my writing and painting, posting paintings and other works so you can see whats up. Later!